Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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