pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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