let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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