he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
