If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
