Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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