He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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