thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
