i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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