We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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