If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize