none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
