u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
