His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
