Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Screwed.edu
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
