sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
