I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
