The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
