Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Alive.
So much puke
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize