i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
