kristin has been a bad kristin
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
