You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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