you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
