Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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