If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize