on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
