Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
