I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
