we made out on top of his cat.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
