We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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