Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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