she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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