Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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