oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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