is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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