I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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