i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize