they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
