she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
