there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
