Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
