You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
