If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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