I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I forget how to act sober
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize