I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
