he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize