New low: just hacked my moms facebook
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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