I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
