He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
