well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
