before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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