worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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