woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
