The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He felt like a one man threesome
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
