you guys were way drunker than both of me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
