that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
