I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
