I feel great
I just peed on a car
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
splinters make it hard to masturbate
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
