I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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