We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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