I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
