saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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