i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
