We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
