well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Oh god it's open bar.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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