we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
