sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
