Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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