I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
