I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
