The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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