she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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