It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
