You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
