i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
