Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do herpes really smell.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This is my gift to your gina
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