I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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