Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
