$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
