I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize