im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
