I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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